Title: Little Black Leather Pants
Pairing: A/J, J/?
Archive: Anywhere just tell me first
Warnings: Abuse of classic fairytale
Disclaimer: I don't own my bed, how would I afford characters?
Summary: Xena/Herc version of Little Red Riding Hood
Little Black Leather Pants
Once upon a time there was a god who everyone called Little
Black Leather Pants, because his favorite thing to wear were black
leather pants and though he hated to be reminded of it he was one of
the shorter gods.
Now on a certain day while walking through the woods towards
his half-brother's house he got distracted by something in the road.
It was a hat, a helmet really, metal and oddly shaped.
"Excuse me, but could you help me down?" The question was
spoken from above and when Little Black Leather Pants looked up he
saw a man dangling from a tree branch.
"What are you doing up there?" he called.
"I'm lost and was trying to see Hercules' house?" the strange
"You know Hercules?" Little Black Leather Pants asked.
"Of course I do," said the man, "I'm Joxer the Mighty."
"Well I'm going to Hercules' house too. Want to come with
me?" Little Black Leather Pants didn't know why he asked but this
Joxer guy seemed pretty nice.
"No thanks I know which way I'm going now. Bye." And the
little man walked off.
When Little Black Leather Pants arrived at Hercules' house he
snuck in side to find some one sleeping in the bed. He was about to
strike when he realized that the sleeper had dark hair while
Hercules' hair was blond. Little Black Leather Pants pulled back the
cover completely to discover that Joxer the Mighty had beaten him to
his brother's house.
Joxer was no longer wearing his silly hat, in fact he was
wearing nothing at all. Little Black Leather Pants could not help
speaking, "Joxer what a big cock you have."
"The better to fuck you with my dear." With that Joxer
flipped Little Black Leather Pants underneath him.
With one final thrust of Joxer's mighty cock Little Black
Leather Pants came.
He screamed so loudly that a passing hunter heard and
thinking someone was in trouble burst in to find them.
"Joxer? Little Black Leather Pants? What are you doing here?
Little Black Leather Pants answered first, "I was going to
kill Hercules but he wasn't here, Joxer was."
Iolaus spaoke again, "But where's Hercules?"
Suddenly a low moan was heard echoing from within the closet
and Hercules tumbled out.
"Herc! What happened?" The blond hunter was bent over his
friend trying to check for injury. Instead when Hercules caught sight
of Joxer he began to struggle away.
"No more, no more. I can't take it. He's too good." Everyone
looked at Joxer in surprise.
"What can I saw he not a full god," He turned to Little Black
Leather Pants and said, "Not like you Ares."
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