AresJoxerCupidStrife - Joint Effort Fiction

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Author's Notes: Well, this is my first collaboration with anyone, and I'm very proud to be doing it with the very talented TW. This is the first part of the series so read on for all of you that are curious out there. It's called `Sunburns and Love Potions' and it was inspired by one of the challenges posted on AJCS. Hope you like it and TW will be posting the next part soon.


Title: Sunburns and Love Potions
Co-Authors: Dane / TW
Genre: Herc/ Xena Universe
Pairings: A/J, C/S eventually
Archives: AJCS, others to be determined
Rating: R (NC-17 in the future)
Warning: A whole lot of sexual spouting and groping. Sex by some other parties
Summary: Strife is having a bad day and it's only going to get worse.
Dedication: To TW for suggesting this an getting my muse (his name is Marcus) to work overtime in 3 hours.
Disclaimer: All Gods and mortals mentioned are not our property so forget about suing us because we are just poor little writers.

Part 1:

Strife was having a bad day.

Well, that was an understatement in his mind. Yesterday, he went sunbathing so now he had pretty bad sunburn. Despite Godly healing and all, it still hurts like a bitch. Asclepius gave him a salve to alleviate the burns but it would take a good day for it to take full effect. Next, he went to check up on all of the planned mischief that needed to execute on the poor unsuspecting mortals. It was all fine until one practical joke backfired and he ended up in a pile of manure.

"Note to self: Never pull a prank on a stable boy when he's cleaning the stables," he thought to himself as he bathed in every cleaning potion known in Greece and Olympus.

He was ready to hit the sack when got home but his mother ordered him to join her on an errand for his Uncle Ares. Basically, it was to check the terrain of a mountainside, on foot, without using any powers. Apparently, the barbarians who planned on attacking the nearby town are all magically attuned to the elements so Godly tricks were out of the question unless you wanted them to attack anyway.

Disgruntled and irritated, he flashed off his leather suit and slipped between the dark sheets of his chambers. Strife just wanted the day to end so he could forget about it. Not a few minutes past when Phobos and Deimos came barging in and dragged his ass out of bed.

"Oh fuck off, you two! My day was worse than that time I gave that bunch of Amazons their time of the month and sent them to Unca Herc. I want to go back to bed," he whined as his twin cousins made him presentable.

"But Strife!" they whined back at the same time. "It's Cupe's orgy."

"So? We've been to a hundred of them since he became officially a Love God. What's one orgy when I could go to the next one?"

"But this one is special," babbled Phobus, twitching like a manic lunatic.

"You always say that about every orgy that Cupid has. I think it's the only time you get laid."

"Not true," countered Deimos, pushing Strife closer to Cupid's temple. "This one is special because he finally gotten rid of that pain in the ass wife of his. Damn Stupid Bitch! And anyway, he told us that he wanted you there. Besides, it's not really an orgy. Think of it as an excuse to see the rest of the family make utter fools of themselves, and we all know that you can't pass up that even if Cerberus is chewing on your ass."

Strife thought about it. "Oh why the hell not? We're here anyway. What could possibly go wrong?"

He pushed the large door that led to Cupid's temple and a splash of `something' greeted his face. He heard a tiny giggle and, as he opened his eyes, he saw his little nephew Bliss, fluttering in front of him, with a large pink bottle in one hand and the other covering his mouth. Strife sighed heavily and wished that his Great Aunt Nyx would speed up the night so he could go to bed.

"Bliss! There you are! What did your Grandma Dite tell you about playing with her potions?"

Three Gods and one godling turned to see one very haggard looking Joxer pounding the floor to get to them. The little one might looking repentant, but since Strife is the God of Mischief, he felt that Bliss didn't quite feel sorry for what he did.

"I's sowwy," the little God of Joy and Happiness admitted, and with the power of his pout and his baby blue eyes, Joxer melted and forgave the child then and there.

. The twins chuckled quietly, but Strife just smiled weakly, not even feeling the urge to cackle like he usually does when something like this happens, as the weight of the day started to pull him down. Since all of them were in an antechamber, they could hear the orgy was in full swing inside the main hall.

"Are you going to join us, Jox?" asked Deimos. The twins zapped up some mirrors and checked their reflections to see if anything was wrong with their appearance. Strife just rolled his eyes, knowing that Deimos' short pants and Phobus' pick-up lines were not going to work on anybody.

The Mighty One shook his head and hefted Bliss to his arms. "No, I'm not. You know I'm not one for Olympic functions even if I'm technically one of you guys already." Ever since Ares stopped being an idiot and proposed to Joxer, Hera made sure that her son wouldn't have the opportunity to have cold feet and married them on the spot. Since mortal spouses were automatically made immortal, Joxer was given Ambrosia and the rest was history. "Ares wants to be there though so I volunteered to watch over Bliss while the party goes on. Xena and Iolaus are there. They're a big hit what with Iolaus' reputation as Greece's greatest lover and Xena's supposed ability to do more than a hundred position in bed," Joxer said in a matter-of-fact sort of way.

Phobus and Deimos' eyes went wide at that last bit of information. "Is that true?"

"Who knows? Apollo said that it was true though I'm not so sure that a God of Truth is excepted from lying."

Damn! I want some of that action," crowed the God of Pain. Phobus just nodded in eagerness.

Strife sighed heavily and turned to his new Uncle-in- law. "Well, see you later Jox. I just want to make an appearance here and give Cupid my congratulations." He looked down at his little nephew and gave him a raspberry. Bliss giggled and thrashed soundly at the friendly assault. "Good night, little mischief maker. I'll be over a few days to help your Daddy teach you how to Pooft (thanks to Corona for the term.)"

Bliss' eyes twinkled with laughter. "Can't wait, Unca Stwife!" The Mischief God beamed and turned to join his cousins at the threshold to the main hall. As Joxer walked away with the bundle of Joy and Happiness in his arms, only the little one noticed the slight glow in Strife's aura. He knew that this was going to help his Daddy be reeeeeeeaaaaaaalllllllllllllly happy.

Once inside, the orgy was in full swing. Apollo was holding court on one side with half of the muses. Zeus was on the prowl, with Hera watching him like a hawk. Aphrodite and Hephaestus were `freely' exercising the concept of free love with Ganymede. Hermes was going at it with Iris, the Goddess of the Rainbow. Cupid was at his throne, talking to his brother Anteros. Ares was in one table, arguing with Eris and Athena on the merits of the rewards given to soldiers. And what Olympic party wouldn't be complete without Poseidon drinking like a fish. All in all, it was a typical scene at Mt. Olympus.

"Strife, you're here!" someone shouted to the Mischief God's side. He saw that Clio, Urania, Terpsichore, and Polyhymia approach him with purpose in there eyes. Clio, being the closest, grabbed his arm and dragged him to a corner where the four muses surrounded him.

"Uhh, too what pleasure do I own this, ladies?" asked Strife who was clearly not sure why they were seeking him out.

"We want to get even with Hermes. He stole our instruments yesterday and he won't give it back," hushed Terpsichore. Her sisters were nodding and wringing their fists. Mischief sighed again for the millionth time that day and laid out a plan for them to work on.

As the orgy progressed, Apollo, Hermes, and Zeus were standing in one side that has a good vantage point to watch everyone in the main hall. Hermes nudged his golden brother and pointed his direction at Strife.

"Isn't Mischief looking rather delicious tonight, or what?"

Apollo looked at his nephew and saw nothing. Then suddenly, he could see all the appeal that was being radiated. The wild blue eyes. The tussled hair that looked like the wind swept through it. The beautiful lips that would look good around his cock. The long, lean body that somehow begged to be taken. The long fingers that look like it belonged in places that shouldn't see the light off day. The God of Light licked his lips and vowed silently to himself that he was going to have a piece of the booty later. Unfortunately, the King of the Gods and the God of Thieves were thinking the same thing.

Strife finally excused himself from the company of the very determined muses and went to the refreshment table to get some of Bacchus' triple grade vintage for his troubles. The three Gods looked at each other and smiled at each other.

"Will you excuse me? I have to talk to Uncle Poseidon something about a horse," said Apollo.

"No need. I have to look for my wand. I seem to have lost it somewhere," said Hermes, even if Caduceus was in his back pocket.

"I have to find Hera," the lecherous King.

With each a nod of acknowledgement, the three of them parted ways and joined the crowd, maneuvering themselves to get closer to Strife. In their haste, Apollo tripped over a tangle of legs belonging to a foursome and Hermes was ambushed by the four muses. Both of them groaned as their father came in contact with their nephew.

"Hello Strife," Zeus leered as he placed his hand on Mischief's shoulder.

Despite the weariness of his being, Strife felt the alarms in his head go off as his Grandfather slipped an arm around his waist. He then felt his tongue lick slowly up his burnt skin of his neck. Strife winced in pain and shouted a very loud mental scream.

"GRANDMA HERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hera whipped her head around as she heard a voice calling her, not one that she heard very often. "Strife? What on Olympus?" Hera sounded mystified, and transported to Strife's power signature.

"ZEUS!!!" Zeus looked up at Hera with the same look often seen on children when they're caught doing something that they know that they shouldn't be.

"Yes, my love?" He asked in an I'm-your-husband-and-I-love-you tone of voice.

"GET OFF OF OUR GRANDSON RIGHT NOW!!" Hera's voice echoed all through the room, causing everyone to stop stock still and stare ((heh...alliteration... :-P))

Zeus whimpered, mumbling something that sounded a little like, "But he is so hot, dearest!" but unwound himself from Strife. As soon as he had, Strife leapt away and watched Hera take Zeus by the ear.

"I'll teach you, you lecherous old goat. I'm chaining you to our bed and I'm NOT going to touch you!"

All of the gods and goddess nearly choked on the laughter they tried to hold back. Once the King and the Queen had left, however, the entire room rang with the comments and giggles of the Greek Pantheon.

" sex!" "Lecherous old goat!" Dad's in trouble!!"

Strife smiled weakly, and decided that it would be in his best interests to leave. He turned around, hoping to see the door somewhere near by. No such luck. it was on the other side of the room. And since this was an orgy in Cupid's temple, Cupid had made the room transport resistant to anyone but him.

Strife began to weave his way towards the other side of the room, being careful to keep an eye on anyone that he passed. He really didn't relish getting caught like that again, especially by say, someone like his uncle...

"Ares!" Strife's voice was higher than usual, as the God of War seemed to materialize in front of him. "H-hi, Unc. What's up?"

"Not much, Strife. I was just wondering what you said to set Father off. He doesn't usually go after one of the family without provocation."

"I didn't say anything!! All I did was walk! He came out of nowhere, with a case of raging hormones. I have no idea what the problem is." Strife blanched as he caught sight Hermes moving through the crowd towards him, a feral look on his face.

"Uh, Unc, not to be rude, but I'm about to be jumped again...see ya later." Strife turned to run, but was caught b a large, strong hand. He turned, hoping that it wasn't Hermes already.

It wasn't, it was Ares. "Unc, whydja catch me? Hermes is gonna jump me, if I don't get outa here!"

Ares pulled him in close. "I know that...I don't mind sharing you, as long as I get to go first." He pinned Strife against him.

Strife turned an even paler shade of white, if that was even possible. His uncle, the man that was madly in love with Joxer the *snort* Mighty, wanted to screw HIM?!?! Something was REALLy wrong here.

"What the Tartarus is going on here?" Strife's thoughts scrambled. Right now, Ares was pinning him down in an aggressive hold while being kissed like a vacuum in space. To his right side, a determined Hermes was trying to get to them while the two of the muses were grabbing him to stay put. Incoming on the left was Apollo, with a leering wolf's grin. With a prayer to Gaia and his Aunt Fortune, Strife wished that something would happen to get himself out of this predicament.

"Ares! How could you?" someone shouted.

Everyone, including Ares, stopped what they were doing and looked towards the exclamation. It was a very angry Joxer, seething eyes and all. With clenched fists and grinding teeth, he summoned up some chains and bound up his errant husband.

"Xena! Iolaus!" he summoned. His two mortal friends flanked up on either side of him with curious looks. "Xena, remember what you said to Ares before we got married." The Warrior Princess nodded as she glared at her chained up father. "Iolaus, remember the what you would do to my 'husband', he said with as much venom he could muster, 'if he so much followed his father's footsteps." The Golden Hunter nodded as well. "Well, here's your chance the both of you. Eris, can we use your chambers for this?" the Goddess of Discord agreed, and Joxer mentally thrown Ares to his two mortal friends. The latter two gave a very feral smile, Xena gripping the War God's arm like a vise and Iolaus laughing like a maniac, and followed Eris to her temple with a pale-faced Ares shouting his apologies to his consort. Joxer turned to Strife and startled the mischief out of him. "Anything I should know about, Strife?" The question didn't come out as menacing as should sound but the was there nonetheless.

"I don't know what's happening, Jox. One minute he was asking me what Zeus was doing to me. The next he was rubbing on me like the whore of Babylon." Strife looked to his side and noted that Hermes was very close to jumping on him. "Shit! Excuse me Jox. I'm about to be jumped again unless I get out of here."

In Baywatch-type of slow motion, Strife sprang into the opposite direction and ran as fast as he could towards the exit. Being the fast God that he was, Hermes smiled, ran faster to catch up to him, and leaped into the air. In the moment of serendipity, the God of Mischief snagged his foot on Artemis' bow, conveniently placed there by its very drunk owner, and activated its power. Sure as Hades in heat when Persephone is with him, the shot from the bow struck Hermes in mid-leap and turned him to a turtle and landed on the young God's back. Wondering what hit him, he saw the turtle with winged feet. The sense of ridiculous would have reveled in the reptile trying to hump him, but he just gave zapped the demented creature away.

Not wanting to press his luck, Strife looked around to see if anyone else wanted his ass. Seeing that none was taking advantage of the time-out as everyone was talking about what had just happened. Relief was short-lived as a pair of hands slapped on to his shouldered and he whipped out a pair of daggers before turning around suddenly.

"Whoa, lay off the coffee, will ya (pardon the future reference)," said Deimos with a back-off gesture. Strife didn't lay off until he was sure that both of them weren't going to jump him.

"Sorry, I'm just kinda tired from all the people that are jumping on my ass tonight." He sheathed back the daggers and grabbed the goblet of wine that Phobus was holding. Phobus was indignant but said nothing as Strife drained the full goblet to the bottom.

"Do you know why?" asked Phobus and grabbed another goblet for his cousin.

"Tartarus should I know. I was just minding my own business until Grandpa started licking up my neck. Shit! It still hurts from the sunburn. Next thing I know, Unc and Hermes are stalking my booty." Strife sighed loudly. "Listen, I'm going to head off. Please tell Cupe that I'm really tired and I need my rest after this fiasco."

The twins nodded simultaneously. "We'll do." Then both of them sauntered off, hopefully to get lucky.

Being too tired to even make a decent transport after leaving Cupid's temple, Strife decided that a short walk wouldn't be any problem. Since everyone was at the orgy, the halls of Olympus were deader than watching grass grow, naturally. Though in a distance, you could make out Ares' screams being inflicted by a very dominating Joxer. He was relieved by the time he got to his small temple. It may not be large and grand, but it was home.

This was his sanctuary from all of his duties as the God of Mischief and as Ares' right hand God. He got in through the creaking doors, washed up a bit in his rather small bathroom. Without further ceremony, he curled up to a rather solid body.

"Body?" he thought groggily as his hands felt someone's erect nipples. His brain went alert and he turned on all of the lamps in the bedroom. He backed-off to the headboard when he saw a very horny- looking and very naked Apollo moving up towards him like a cat. "Shit!"

"Strife," Apollo purred. "Did anyone ever tell you that you are hot? I just want to lick you up and swallow you whole. I want to hold you close and whisper things that will blow your mind I want to...."

Strife just rolled his eyes and summoned up some chains to ward off the horny God of Light before he got any closer. Before Apollo could protest, he zapped up a gag around the bound-up God's mouth and threw his easy ass outside.

"Gods, I have enough of this shit!" he turned over to his bed but not before fortifying the shields of his of his temple so no one would think of ambushing him again. Sleep didn't come immediately, of course, as it sounds like Joxer has forgiven his husband and was giving him the fuck of his life as indicated by the pleas of the War Gods 'faster harder'. Strife didn't quite heard the sounds of the Sun God being

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, err at Cupid's temple, about 10 minutes earlier....

Cupid got back to the Orgy as Bliss finally gotten back to sleep. He was thankful for Joxer watching over his son but the little one still wanted his bedtime stories. The party was still in full swing but most of the guests were talking about what had happened earlier. Quite miffed at being out of loop with things, he saw Phobus and Deimos and approached the two.

"Hey Cupe!" greeted Phobus with a wild look. "Nice shindig you having here."

"Hey guys! Can you tell me what been happening? I was out back reading Bliss his bedtime story so I missed all the action. I keep on hearing Strife's name, so what's up?"

Deimos then proceeded to regale Cupid with the sequence of events since the twins arrived with Strife. Cupid frowned more and more until Deimos finished his somewhat exasgerrated tale. The Love God wanted to see his cousin tonight and hoped to see if Strife had any interests in hooking up with him. He didn't even need to ask since he could feel even the littlest spark of infatuation. What happened tonight didn't bode well with his plans. Cupid unfocused his eyes and looked into Strife's temple. What he saw made him fume with rage. With golden sparkles, he materialized his bow and arrows. He looked at his cousin suddenly, making them jump. "Be right back!" he then disappeared in a flash of gold and hearts.

The twins shrugged together and continued their quest to get laid.

Cupid rematerialized outside of Strife's temple, since he found it hard to get in because of the shields. He was about to knock the door down when he heard something near his feet. His smile grew and he lifted up the prone Light God to his feet.

"Well well, what do we have here? It's a good thing I came to check up on Strife. I guess he could take care of himself after all. Now let's have a few words about respecting people's space, shall we?" Cupid then brought Apollo to a nearby tree and beat the crap out of him.


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